Going back to work

Going back to work

Hello all,

So I thought it would be a ‘fun’ idea to talk about how hard it is going back to work after having become a mummy. I remember spending such lovely (but tiring, absolutely tear jerking) time at home for the first six months after giving birth to my scrunchy nosed little ninja (princess at this point.)  I had originally planned to take at least nine months off but was offered a kind of gradual ease in back to work after six months which worked really well for me. After six months I was quite nervous about returning to work as I knew things would have changed slightly and I would have to get used to the new things even though the old things suited me just fine! So the weekend arrives before the first day back (which is the following Monday) and I start to get that butterfly feeling and not because I’m nervous, no, I’m actually excited, yes truly excited at the thought that I might be able to crawl under my desk and have a nap! This is one of those things you should never feel guilty for if you’ve had children as they tend to suck the ability to eat and sleep in a regular pattern right out of you.

By this point I’m a strong woman who can absolutely handle going back to work, I’ve had some lovely quality time with my gorgeous baby who is now six months old (teething, mardy wanting to eat the spoon her food is fed on and the most fidgety ‘I just want to be into everything’ little human being). I get to the point where I’m ready to drop her off at the nursery she will be spending every

day without me in the week (I’m fine I’m really fine!) and I’m talking to her and we are giggling and I take her in where I have already met the lovely staff that work there and…..I freeze….nope…I can’t do it! I can’t leave my little girl with these strangers! I can’t just walk away from this little bundle of joy I have nursed every day for the last six months (not to mention carried the previous nine months). So I have a complete break down there and then and I remember saying to myself how the hell am I going to cope without her. She on the other hand was fine still giggling away at her daft mummy who’s make up was now streaky for her first day back at work. The staff there were absolutely brilliant and reassured me that she is fine and also spoke to me about not having any worries but it is always harder for the parents than the children, yep not bloody kidding. So I get myself together, touch up my streaky face and leave her with these lovely ladies and head to work for the first time in over six months.

I’m doing ok making my way and I’ve managed to stop the tears thinking I will be seeing her in a few hours, they have my number she’s fine and I’m going to have lots to do to keep me busy. Then driving around, a corner I hit half a brick in the middle of the road and I get a flat tyre!!! As if! But by this point I’m so determined to get to work I set about ‘fixing’ this myself which I have seen my hubby do a few times. How hard can it be? Well it was a challenge but I only went and did it! Yep I actually changed my first flat tyre and with no help, in work attire making me a little late, but I did not care ‘cos I changed a tyre! Ha ha! So I turned up to work looking like I had been dipped in an oil bucket but with make-up still intact set about my day knowing if I can get through leaving my little girl, I can get through ANYTHING!

Thanks for reading my absolute lovelies.

Big hugz

xxxx

Trip to London

Its Meeee!

Hello lovlies,

So this week involved me taking a trip to London to do something for myself. I’ve recently been looking into photography and thought it would make a nice change to tag along with the one and only Jodie Porteous aka @justjodess to an event she was attending to take pics of her to build up my photography skills. I was blessed with a DLSR for my latest birthday and I have to say it has been amazing to work with and I am learning so much just by shooting different things.

Before heading off I had to break the news to the Ninja who was most displeased with my leaving her as I think she thinks I may not return! How could I not, that girl is my world as is my precious hubby. So, when she says ‘mummy I really don’t want you to go’ I have to kindly explain that sometimes mummy has to do things for herself and it’s only for one night and you have to help look after dad (seriously LOL), she immediately knows nothing is going to change but she has to now look at the situation differently. She has always been very clingy but I do believe the one thing that helped when she was very young was that I wasn’t scared to leave her with my mum or friends or childcare if I had work or plans. Well actually, if truth be told I was absolutely petrified! (To be discussed in another blog post). I know it can be hard to let go as a mummy and leave our children especially going back to work after a long time off and bonding with them, but for me it made being a mummy so much easier as I could still earn a living, make time for myself and miss her like crazy making my time spent with her so much more precious. (I can go into more detail about this in future if people are interested).

Anyway back to ‘London baby’ (classic Friends reference as this is something I use to keep up the spirits at times as I was around before the endless repeats on Comedy Central), so I experienced many firsts on this particular trip, like taking a stroll down Saville Row onto Old Bond Street   which OMG was absolutely amazing!!!! One, it was just sooooo pretty and two it was full of all the ‘posh shops’ which I glided past with my ‘I just don’t have time today attitude!’ Another first for me, was

dining at The Riding House Café taking in an amazing Chicken and Haloumi Salad and Racer smoothie then hit a little shop called Stradivarious. Not heard of this particular shop but ‘twas divine and the price was also surprisingly cute. I also took a sneaky peak in new look which one of my faves and bought me a little shirt dress which I’m loving right now as you can dress them up or down and are so comfy. Plus they had a 25% discount going on for selected items which make the purchase an even happier one. The next stop was a recommendation from Jodes which was Kikki.K near Covent Garden and OMG what an absolute gem of a shop. It is full of stationary which has such a positive vibe with cute quotes and sayings which can help make the day a little brighter. (It was my absolute favourite!)

However in the evening which held the most exciting element for me as I was to try out my new little hobby of photography snapping away all night for @justjodess  at an Ibis late event (this hotel was lovely and offered a pleasant stay and other than almost losing my beauty blender down the loo and panicking so much I nearly slipped in the bathroom it was great) listening to some wicked new music acts. I never really thought of doing anything other than teaching dance (my present job) as I’ve never actually had the confidence to try anything new but now I have gained a new approach to different aspects of my life and I now realise that in order to be happier I have to do the things I want to do rather than just wish.

Thanks then for taking the time to read

Big hugz

xxxx

Intro to the Whirlwind

Mummy knows best… right?

Mummy, mum, mother, ma, mam, mammy, whatever you decide to use to refer to the delightful lady who brought you into the world, I grew up thinking my mum knew everything and I believe this more now that I, myself am a mummy as I try to teach my child the way of this new unimpressive/impressive technology driven world. My daughter is now of the ‘beautiful non back chatting’ age of 7 (yeah right) and will refer to her as Ninja (since when I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up was exactly that!). This girl is so creative we can fill our days acting out characters from films and books or I will often catch her riding her rocking horse wearing which ever hat is fitting for her character at the time, play sword stuffed in a belt she has found in the wardrobe, pirate vest or ninja suit donned to the max, with a look that screams this is who I am right now and you will not judge me! This little human being turned my world upside down and sideways when she came along (totally planned) and I knew it was going to be hard but all the planning in the world from the most organised female on the planet was not going to prepare me for the storm that was about to rule my life! I couldn’t wait!

I often refer to the ninja as my little whirlwind as she always has me on my toes from when she was young and clung to me for cuddles or feeds to ‘mum what’s for tea’ and five seconds later ‘is it ready yet’ and with a full time job, being a mum can definitely feel like time is limited. However I am very blessed to have the most loving husband and support both at home and work and yet sometimes I can still feel like the world is caving in on me. So how do I cope with this? The truth is I haven’t in the past however my family became so important to me that I had to figure it out, even though life continued to be ‘thrown’ at me.

My latest challenge I am throwing punches at includes a diagnosis of the ever so delightful fibromyalgia (something I will explain more about in upcoming blog posts if people are interested) and being a dance teacher this has just about taken over…nope nope nope! Not taken over as I just won’t let it, but having this diagnosis, finally after suffering for many years with the symptoms I am now able to grab it by the fibros, take it for a walk down to the river, toss it in and have it come bite me only if I allow my feet to get wet which does happen sometimes, after all I am only human. It is my little whirlwind that I can rely on to take me away from the negative side of life and immerse me in a (wish I could say fairy tale but she would not be pleased with any princess reference linked to her) world of ‘pure imagination’ (she loves Charlie and the Chocolate factory) taking on new characters, making up songs playing and creating our own games and not being afraid to look silly,  building our confidence ready for life’s scenarios and making memories to cherish for ever.